By Madeline Grindle
As I arranged chocolates and orange slices on a tray, I chatted excitedly with the Community Shlichah about our expectations for the evening. The Chocolate Passover Seder was one of our first big events since CONNECT (a predecessor to the current Young Adult Division) had started, and we were hoping to spend the night with familiar faces and new friends.
Matt walked into the event with zero expectations. A Delaware transplant from Indiana, he was tagging along with the only Jewish friends he had made in the area, going with the flow with an easy confidence. When he was greeted by a cute, kind girl (me!), his interest piqued for what the night had in store.
For Matt, this was pretty much love at first sight. I, on the other hand, wrote him off after his introductory fun fact was that he would be moving at the end of the summer to begin a PhD program in Ohio.
The event was fun and engaging. We shared some laughter and had meaningful discussions, and Matt regretted not getting my number before the evening ended.
Determined to correct his mistake, Matt attended more CONNECT events throughout the summer, aiming to find another moment with me. That moment never technically came, but he settled for copying my number from the CONNECT group chat and sent me a message—some quirky question about NJBs (Nice Jewish Boys) and tattoos, which made me smile and sparked not just conversation but my interest in getting to know him.
From that night on, we were texting and Snapchatting non-stop. I deflected a few date invitations, intimidated by my feelings and facing him one-on-one, but eventually agreed to get coffee at Brew HaHa, where we both admitted our interest in each other. That meeting ended with us agreeing not to date since he was moving away for graduate school and neither of us felt we had the emotional strength for a long-distance relationship.
Despite that difficult decision, we stayed in constant contact with each other, even as Matt traveled halfway around the world for a family wedding. It was during that time that our connection grew even deeper—our conversations spanned any imaginable topics and I was impressed and touched by his commitment to message and connect with me across time zones.
Halfway through his trip, I messaged him to ask: “Can I change my mind?”
Maddie, Matt, and Roxy in Brandywine Park; Photo Credit: Jessica Manns Photography
We went on our first official date in Trolley Square the day Matt arrived home and spent the rest of the summer together until he left for school. Those weeks were short, but the days were long, and we spent them making unforgettable memories, meeting each other’s friends and family, and preparing for our long-distance relationship.
Nightly phone or FaceTime calls, occasional care packages, and the endless stream of Snapchats helped our time between monthly visits to and from Cincinnati pass more easily.
Then, in March 2020, after canceling what would have been one of my visits west, we agreed to spend our COVID quarantine time together in Delaware, the two of us and our recently-adopted dog, Roxy, in one tiny apartment. What we thought would be a few weeks turned into nine months of living together and, after that, we knew we would never be able to return to a long-distance arrangement.
In the spring of 2021, when Matt was called to return to campus, Roxy and I moved out to Ohio with him while he finished up his program.
After the big move, I got a new job at the local JCC, Matt was working steadily through his research and publications, and we explored the treasures of our new city together.
In December of 2022, COVID foiled Matt’s grand plans for a proposal back in our old Trolley Square neighborhood, where our story began. Instead of visiting home, we spent Chanukkah quarantined in Cincinnati, taking care of each other. The night after the originally planned proposal would have taken place, our energy was returning and we were frying up some latkes when Matt turned to me—seeming simultaneously nervous and calm—and proposed.
Photo Credit: Jessica Manns Photography
On April 14, 2024, we got married at Victory Brewing Company in PA, promising a lifetime of love and dancing our feet off in front of family and friends. We honeymooned in Paris before returning to life as usual, full steam ahead for Matt to finish his degree.
Almost one year later, Matt’s hard work and research culminated in the defense of an impressive dissertation, earning him his long-awaited PhD. It was hard for me to comprehend that, after five and a half years, he had finally reached this achievement he had been working toward since our relationship began. My heart burst with pride and anticipation as we finally began to consider our next chapter as newlyweds.
After a rollercoaster of a job application and interview process, Matt was selected for a postdoctoral fellowship with the National Energy Technology Lab in Pittsburgh, where we have since relocated. We immediately began planning new adventures—physically, in our new beautiful city, as well as in our relationship.
It is now over six years since we first met. Looking back through the ups and downs of falling in love through a long-distance relationship, adopting a perfect dog, a world-wide pandemic, and every little adventure and milestone along the way, it’s hard to believe the chances of
it all. Had Matt not come along with his friends to CONNECT, or had I stayed resolved in our decision to just be friends… well, I don’t like to think about that.
CONNECT did for us exactly what its name promised: formed a once-in-a-lifetime connection between two b’shert.
What I once thought was a long shot dream—to meet my husband through a community social group—came true! It’s sometimes difficult to comprehend how much time has passed and how much we have been through since that first meeting. As it was during our first summer together, some days and weeks feel long, but the years have flown by. I’m grateful to soak up every moment and look forward to creating more memories together for decades to come.
About the Author:
MADELINE GRINDLE (née Driban) is a native Delawarean, and a Siegel JCC and Albert Einstein Academy alum. A passionate Jewish nonprofit professional and community volunteer, Maddie met her husband, Matt, through YAD (formerly “CONNECT”) while she served as a lay leader of the Delaware young adult group. Maddie and Matt married in 2024 and recently moved from Cincinnati to Pittsburgh, where they live with their 10-year-old terrier-pittie mix, Roxy.
