By Eliana M. Hall, MAJE, RJE, Director of Lifelong Learning at Congregation Beth Emeth
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What seems like ages ago, when I was young and new to Jewish education, I was also raising a young child with Autism who was non-speaking. Although he did not have spoken language, I was never at a loss for understanding Blake’s emotional landscape. When he was sad, he cried. When he was nervous, he made a little throat-clearing noise that was unmistakable. When he was happy, he applauded. When we lit Shabbat candles on Friday night, he applauded with more enthusiasm than I’d ever seen in one person. Then, inexplicably but without fail, he insisted upon blowing out the candles.
My friends and colleagues had a variety of reactions to this, ranging from glee to a statement I’ll never forget: “Hopefully someday you will be able to teach him not to do that.”
I stopped short.
Maybe, but what other goals did I have for a young person who felt deeply, loved Shabbat, and often struggled to connect with those around him? This was the beginning of my passion for SEL—Social-Emotional Learning—a concept that is not new, but has only become common in Jewish supplementary school settings in the last few years.
Social-emotional learning has five core components: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Responsible Decision Making, Social Awareness, and Relationship Skills. Your child’s school probably has an SEL program based on these concepts, as should any institution dedicated to educating the whole child. As the primary goal of Congregation Beth Emeth’s religious school is educating the whole child Jewishly, it stood to reason that we needed such a curriculum. It dawned on me that, as Jews, we have the perfect framework to create this curriculum for Jews of any age: middot.
Discussions around middot, or Jewish ethical traits or values, can be used to explore thorny ethical dilemmas and complex Jewish ideas, but they are also used to help guide young students at summer camp or teens at youth events. The first middot-based
SEL curriculum we utilized was “La-Bri’ut: To Our Health and Wellness,” from The Jewish Education Center of Cleveland. It was designed for use by Religious Schools meeting online during COVID, many of whom saw students struggling to regulate their emotions and maintain relationships with their peers. Even after returning from isolation, my colleagues and I noticed a difference in many of our students. They seemed less sure of themselves and each other and of the social structures around them. Who could blame them, after all that we had all been through?
The La-bri’ut curriculum focused on the following middot: sukkat shalom (shelter of peace), ometz lev (inner strength), g’vurah (courage), k’hillah (community), and chesed (loving kindness). Through stories, artistic expression, and classroom discussions, our students began to learn how to articulate what made them feel at peace, strong, brave, and loved. The difference in the way that they approach conflict today is noticeable. In the last several years, we have added many new middot to our curriculum, two of my favorites being achrayut (thinking of others) and simcha (joy).
Ultimately, those middot, like the simcha that Blake found in every Shabbat, are as important as any other subject our students learn. What I wanted for Blake then is what I hope for all our students: to know and love their whole selves, to make Jewish choices about their behavior and their relationships, and to know that the most important priority that their kehillah at CBE has is the goal of helping them find their sukkat shalom, their ometz lev, and endless ways to give and receive chesed.
Photo Credits: Eliana M. Hall
