By Lisa Driban, Member of the Jewish LIVING Delaware Advisory Committee
All photos provided by Lisa Driban
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There was a moment right after the initial wave of happy tears, when the reality sank in and I thought to myself, my baby is going to have a baby—I am going to be a grandmother. Many ponder long and hard about what their “grandma name” will be, but for me, there was no question. I knew immediately. I am going be a Bubbe.
It’s a word heavy with warmth, history, and—for me—a profound joy. Being a grandmother isn’t just a new title or an excuse to knit tiny, adorable baby sweaters; it’s a whole new lens through which to view the world. And then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, we welcomed another grandson. Now that my two grandsons are finally here (I didn’t remember nine months ever feeling so long), my heart feels both comfortably full and wonderfully doubled in size. Holding my new grandsons in my arms was an emotional experience. I could never have guessed I could fall in love even more.
There is something incredibly liberating about stepping into the role of Bubbe. All the fierce, sleep-deprived anxiety of first-time motherhood is replaced by a pure, unadulterated love and devotion. I find myself completely captivated by every tiny milestone, peaceful moment, and joyful play session—the soft weight of a sleeping boy on my chest, that fresh newborn scent, bottomless cuddles, and the long conversations while they stare deeply into my eyes. Nothing can compare to the moment they look at you and smile because they recognize you—their Bubbe!
As completely infatuated as I am with my grandsons, the deepest awe comes from watching my daughters step into the role of motherhood. Watching my children cradle their own sons is like looking into a warm mirror. I see glimpses of my younger self, but more than that, I see two remarkably strong, loving, and capable women who have stepped naturally into their new roles. They are embarking on the hardest, most rewarding and magical journey of their lives and, while every generation finds its own rhythm, these are the truths I hope stay close to their hearts:
- There will be a million books, blogs, Instagram posts, and well-meaning opinions—yes, even from Bubbe! But listen to that quiet inner voice. You know your baby better than anyone else in the world ever will. Trust the bond you are building.
- In the middle of a sleepless night or a crying fit, the hours can feel endless. But take a deep breath. This moment, too, will pass—and before you know it, you will be the one watching your children become parents. Savor the messy, beautiful, imperfect now.
- You don’t need to be a perfect mother; you just need to be a loving one. Give yourselves permission to rest, to ask for help, and to laugh when things don’t go according to plan. And remember, a little chicken soup and a visit from Bubbe fixes more than you think.
To be a Bubbe is to realize that love doesn’t get divided as a family grows—it multiplies exponentially. I carry the memory of the generations before me—from my mother and Bubbe and theirs before them, the traditions passed down through family kitchens, stories, lullabies, and tight hugs. I am excited to celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Chanukah and Passover with this new generation, teaching them family traditions and creating new ones with them!
And for the other Bubbes, Mom Moms, Grandmas, GiGis, etc out there, a few quick tips:
- There are never too many kisses or cuddles!
- It’s never too early read to your grandchild (says the bookseller inside me). Sign them up for PJ Library and Imagination Library!
- Don’t be afraid to be silly—make up songs (even if you cannot carry a tune) and dances. They are learning language and about the world with everything you do. And you might create a private joke between the two of you that will last a lifetime. At the very least, it can elicit some sought after baby giggles.
- Follow your child’s lead. You can offer advice, but remember they are the parent, so try to do things their way. You will be there to catch them when they stumble and cheer them on their successes
Mom and dad are sustenance—you are dessert. It’s ok to spoil them a little with endless love and cuddles, extra treats, later bedtimes, jelly beans for breakfast, and maybe a little extra honey on the apples when the time comes.
My arms are always ready, my heart is completely stolen, and my home will forever be open for my little men—and hopefully a few more babies to come. I’m getting ready for a future filled with toy trucks, muddy knees, backyard adventures, messy craft projects, and watching these two sweet boys grow into best friends and cousins.
Being a Bubbe is the privilege of a lifetime.
