Taking My Judaism into My Own Hands
Madeline Grindle
I was raised with deep roots in Jewish community, grounded in Jewish values and traditions, nurtured by years of Jewish education and engagement with community groups. I am grateful to have attended Jewish day school and overnight camp, studied to become a Bat Mitzvah, traveled to Israel with Birthright during college, created connections and experiences in Jewish social groups, and served as a leader in Jewish nonprofit organizations.
Being Jewish is core to my identity and the way I live my life. My Jewish education and community engagement have been formative and undeniably led to the person I am today. I will always be grateful to my parents, teachers, friends, and community for these privileges and opportunities. But, I have to admit, I’ve taken these Jewish experiences for granted.
Until about five years ago, Jewish learning and community were essentially served to me on a platter, prescribed and paid for. My participation in Jewish community was easy and assumed, part of my family’s activities or the institutions and organizations in which I was involved. The difficult truth I’ve recently realized is that these experiences, while critical to my upbringing and identity, are not enough.
Growing up and becoming an adult has forced me to take a more active role in my Judaism.
I can no longer rely on my parents to tell me what to do, show me how to do it, and explain why it should matter to me. Living Jewishly—attending synagogue services, donating tzedakah to charity or volunteering in community, observing Shabbat and Jewish holidays, or engaging in any other number of Jewish values and traditions—is up to me. I have to take my Judaism into my own hands.
Alongside (or perhaps embedded within) my deeply set Jewish values is my commitment to learning. This foundation primed me to seek out and accept opportunities for further learning, and I’m especially inclined toward those that involve self-reflection and personal growth.
Working in the realm of Jewish nonprofits has made this continued education fairly accessible. I’ve been fortunate to participate in group workshops and attend lectures with my colleagues and community. I also had the opportunity, offered as an employee benefit, to engage in one-on-one study with a rabbi through the Jewish Learning Collaborative, through which I was able to explore topics of personal interest utilizing Jewish texts—Torah and Talmud, published books and articles, and other resources—as a reference for conversation and learning. Sessions spanned Jewish and secular topics alike, including understanding Jewish wedding traditions as I prepared for my own ceremony and celebration, studying biblical stories like Esther’s and their lessons in leadership and feminism, diving into the complicated past and present of Israel, and examining Torah passages that reference ideas ranging from self-acceptance to kindness to animals.
Engaging with and opting into this Jewish learning on my own terms has been incredibly meaningful. Without any other voices telling me what to think, feel, or do, I could finally begin to explore what Judaism means and looks like for me.
In the midst of this self-exploration, two things happened:
First, I got married. (Yay!) Starting this new chapter with my husband prompted a deep reflection and conversation about building a Jewish home—what we want it to look and feel like, what practices to observe, and how to make generational traditions our own.
Then, after the October 7 attack on Israel, the heartbreaking division within the Jewish community and alarming rise in antisemitism forced us to consider what our Jewish identity would mean outside of our home. How would we choose to engage in Jewish community in ways that felt safe, affirming, and inclusive? The simultaneous pride and fear in being Jewish, the alienation and dissonance I was starting to feel, strengthened my desire and resolve to define my Judaism in a personal way, unrelated to any organization or congregation.
These events and realizations led me to take my Jewish learning journey to the next level and invest (time and, yes, my own actual dollars) in one of the most impactful educational experiences I’ve had as a Jewish adult thus far.
The idea that someone with my Jewish upbringing and education would opt to take a “Judaism 101” course may seem silly, and I honestly wasn’t sure it was right for me at first. Certainly, with my early childhood education at a Jewish day school and lifelong engagement in Jewish community, my knowledge and understanding of Judaism was likely beyond what would be taught in an introductory course.
That’s what I thought until I learned more about the unique perspective of the new course being offered at the Mayerson JCC, a central institution of the Jewish community in Cincinnati, my new home and also where I happened to be working at the time.
Judaism Inbound is “an introduction to Judaism class that covers Judaism as a religion, Judaism as history, and Judaism as a culture, with a ‘spiritual but not religious’ approach.” Framed as a space to learn/unlearn/relearn a new framing around Judaism, the 12-session course sought to engage people raised Jewish, considering or pursuing conversion, in multi-faith relationships, or simply interested to learn more. Created by Judaism Unbound and typically offered online a few times per year, Judaism Inbound was being offered in person for the first time, in partnership with the Mayerson JCC.
The course was taught by Rabbi Miriam Terlinchamp, Executive Director of Judaism Unbound, “a digitally driven, radically open center for education serving as a catalyst for an entirely new era of Judaism.” My early conversations with Miriam, as part of the JCC team promoting the course to the community, piqued my interest as I learned more about her plans for the curriculum and vision for the impact it could have for participants.
“Part lecture series, part study club, and part spiritual laboratory, this series is designed to teach about and challenge mainstream Judaism . . . built around the notion that Judaism is constantly changing and in a period of especially radical change.”
As I was actively working through the challenges of reconciling and redefining Judaism for myself, Miriam’s description of the course drew me in further, and her empathy and wisdom—her validation of my feelings of dissonance and curiosity—convinced me this course could provide the innovative, unaffiliated approach to Judaism I hadn’t known I was craving.
Judaism Unbound “empowers regular Jews who are disenchanted with or disconnected from mainstream Jewish institutions, to develop new ways of living Jewishly.” I saw myself in this description and heard echoes of the internal battle I was having with this core piece of my identity. I signed up for the course and dove into learning.
Our cohort of the class covered a wide range of topics including traditional Jewish values and foundational texts, belief (or disbelief) in God, the basics of Jewish law (halacha), the Jewish calendar and holidays, and the vast history that has formed Jewish culture, influenced modern practices, and intersects with issues we face today. Miriam’s lectures were insightful and infused with humor, wisdom, and quirky asides; she often brought props like her personal collection of prayer books to see and admire or a bag of groceries to understand and inspect kosher symbols. We built a community inside and out of the classroom, extending our learning to secondary locations like the Klau Library’s Rare Book Room on the Hebrew Union College campus and sharing a home-cooked Shabbat meal with family and friends.
The course curriculum covered in the classroom was accompanied by a lengthy list of recommended reading and resources for us to explore on our own, from podcast episodes and YouTube videos to articles and full-length books. I was overwhelmed with the volume of new materials to extend my learning and aid my self-reflection. So far, I have enjoyed a number of Judaism Unbound’s podcast episodes, and I was also particularly moved by the book Here All Along by Sarah Hurwitz. I look forward to working and reading through more of these varied and valuable resources as I continue along my personal learning journey.
While Judaism Inbound covered so many topics, it really only touched the surface of Judaism and served as a jumping off point for me to dive into the questions and ideas I’ve been exploring or those raised by the course.
What greater oneness do I believe in if not necessarily the “big man in the sky” version of God?
How can I honor High Holidays if prayer services in synagogue do not feel right to me?
What could Shabbat or other holidays look like in our home if traditional observance customs do not resonate with us?
Can I introduce a regular gratitude practice into my life to substitute prayer?
What values are most important to us and what actions can we take to live them out and pass them on?
What does being Jewish mean to me? What does or can it look like?
These are just some of the questions I have begun to consider. Engaging in Jewish learning on my own terms has helped me find the validation and confidence to dive deeper into this curiosity and self-reflection, to do the work of un/relearning certain ideas and redefining things for myself, to take risks and experiment with new routines and practices until I discover what feels right to me. I know my learning and refining will never be complete, and I find a certain satisfaction in this, knowing how deeply Jewish it is to ask these questions at all.
Learn more about Judaism Unbound’s online courses and resources at JudaismUnbound.com.
About the Author
MADELINE GRINDLE (née Driban) is a native Delawarean, and a Siegel JCC and Albert Einstein Academy alum. A passionate Jewish nonprofit professional and community volunteer, Maddie met her husband, Matt, through YAD (formerly “CONNECT”) while she served as a lay leader of the Delaware young adult group. Maddie and Matt married in 2024 and recently moved from Cincinnati to Pittsburgh, where they live with their 10-year-old terrier-pittie mix, Roxy.
