BY Rabbi Yair Robinson, Rabbi of Congregation Beth Emeth
LYING IN WAIT FOR HAPPINESS – Yehudah Amichai
On the broad steps leading down to the Western Wall
A beautiful woman came up to me: You don’t remember me,
I’m Shoshana in Hebrew. Something else in other languages
All is vanity.Thus she spoke at twilight standing between the destroyed
And the built, between the light and the dark.
Black birds and white birds changed places
With the great rhythm of breathing.
The flash of tourists’ cameras lit my memory too:
What are you doing here between the promised and the forgotten,
Between the hoped for and the imagined?
What are you doing here lying in wait for happiness
With your lovely face a tourist advertisement from God
And your soul rent and torn like mine?She answered me: My soul is rent and torn like yours
But it is beautiful because of that
Like fine lace.
We are, at this moment, preparing to stand in between. Between this year and the next, between what was and what will be. As we enter the Yamim Noraim, the Days of Awe, we anticipate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, our new year and our day of atonement, and all the ritual and celebration that goes with it. We gather to hear the sound of the shofar and the words of our tradition, especially the words of teshuvah, of repentance, reminding us that this moment is the twilight moment, an in-between moment. A moment of possibility. But as Yehuda Amichai reminds us, we as Jews are used to being in-between: light and dark, destroyed and built; promised and forgotten. And we are often torn between the two. We are caught between memory of what was—both wistful memories that bring us joy and painful memories of loss that cloud our vision—and our anticipation of what we might become, what we might achieve.
We may wish to be otherwise. Wouldn’t it be better not to always be in-between? To not have our soul rent and torn, caught in the thicket of history and memory and messianic hope much as the ram Abraham sacrifices in Isaac’s place? Perhaps. But it is that reckoning with history and hoped-for and imagined future that has given our people its vitality and commitment to a better world. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel talked about the urgency of Now, and Joseph Soloveitchik invited us to be aware of how each moment brings its mitzvah, its sacred obligation. This ‘now’ is not divorced from the past or the future; rather, it is informed by our being in-between, in relationship with both, remembering both the merit and wisdom of our ancestors, as well as the suffering our people has experienced, and imagining the day the prophet Zachariah and the Great Aleinu invite us to imagine: a day of unity and peace, free from the cruelties and suffering we see too many people experience. Being in-between may tear at our souls, but it also is what makes them beautiful.
So, as we prepare to stand in the twilight moment, the moment between 5785 and 5786, as we think about what has been, and what will be, I invite you to reflect on how each will influence the urgency of your ‘now.’ What will you do to honor the past? How will you work to make a better future? A suggestion: the philosopher Richard Rorty wrote that we have an overriding obligation to diminish cruelty. Reflecting on all the cruelties we may have witnessed this past year, as well as its joys and all that we hope for ourselves, what do we hope for others? How will you diminish cruelty in the world? Let that be your ‘new year’s resolution’ as we stand in between the realized and the potential, the memory and what we long for.
As we prepare to hear the shofar and wish one another a sweet new year, may we be sure to truly hear its call to stand in this moment, informed by what was and what we hoped for, so that our sweetness may be shared with others.
