Q&A with Rabbi Ellen Bernhardt
Emma Driban, Editor
Whether you know her from her time leading a congregation, from her days as a head of school, or in her current role as Director of the Jewish Community Relations Committee, so many of us have had the incomparable Rabbi Ellen Bernhardt touch our lives in one way or another. Her kind and gentle presence has shaped many lives here in Delaware.
For the 2025 Women’s Issue of Jewish Living Delaware, I could think of no better role model to interview. Rabbi Ellen has been a part of my life from a very early age, when I was a student under her guidance at Albert Einstein Academy. Though she is too humble to claim it, she has been an inspiring figure for many young girls to choose their own paths, not just accept the ones they are given.
-
What did your journey to becoming a Rabbi look like? Did you always know that this was your path?
No! I never thought it was even a possibility when I was growing up. I grew up in Wilmington at Adas Kodesch with Rabbi Gewirtz as my rabbi. It never occurred to me that a women could be a rabbi. It wasn’t until many decades later, while I was getting my master’s in Jewish special education from the Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS), during a summer at Camp Ramah when I was studying Talmud, that my Talmud teacher, Dr. Judy Hauptman, said to me, “Why don’t you go to rabbinical school?” I considered myself a Conservative Jew, and the Conservative movement wasn’t admitting women. She said, “Don’t wait for JTS; I suggest you go to RRC (the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College).” At that point, I had one small child, so I enrolled for just one class at RRC, and one class turned into two classes which turned into three classes. I matriculated as a part time student. Seven years later I was ordained as a rabbi and gave birth to two more children while I was in rabbinical school.
-
Was there someone in your life who inspired you?
Rabbi Leonard Gewirtz from Adas Kodesch inspired me. Professor Judith Hauptman at JTS and Camp Ramah inspired me. They were definitely part of my early influences.
-
You are among the first female Rabbis in the state of Delaware, perhaps second only to Rabbi Messenger, formerly of Congregation Beth Emeth. What does it mean to you to blaze that kind of trail?
For better or for worse, haha. It was never my intention to be a role model or inspiration for anybody else. I just loved to study, especially Jewish subjects. I knew I wanted to devote my life to serving the Jewish people and it just worked out fortuitously that this was my career path.
-
You work now with Jewish Federation of Delaware as the Director of the Jewish Community Relations Committee. What does your work involve?
My work involved government relations—working with our elected officials, both on the local and national levels—to advocate for and educate about Jewish issues and issues relating to Israel. Right now, we are focusing on what’s going on in the war in Israel and the alarming rising rate of antisemitism in this country and around the world. I work with the interfaith community to strengthen our relationship with interfaith religious leaders in the state. I also educate our local community on issues relating to Jewish life and Israel. And, as Community Chaplain, I am in contact with Jewish patients who are unaffiliated, making sure every Jewish person who is sick gets contacted by someone, making sure they know we care.
-
What are some of the most important/impactful programs or speakers you’ve had with JCRC?
When we bring our elected officials, like we recently had Senator Coons come to speak, it is very meaningful to me to know that they care and want to hear the Jewish voice. Just a few days ago, Governor Matt Meyer came and stopped in while we were having breakfast with our Jewish representatives in the Delaware General Assembly. In a small state like ours, we are very fortunate that we know our elected officials and they know us. It’s a great honor and a privilege, and it doesn’t happen in other places. Another meaningful event happened after the synagogue in Pittsburgh was attacked. Faith leaders from across the spectrum and Jewish leaders all came together and conducted a very meaningful program; we combined prayer, song, and study.
-
For those who don’t know, you’ve also been the head of two different Jewish day schools. What led you to get involved in education?
When I first became a rabbi, as a student rabbi and as an early rabbi, I served a congregation. I loved being a pulpit rabbi because it was so wonderful being involved with people of all generations and seeing them through their life cycle events. However, I had three very young children. I remember distinctly, when I was running services, I would run out to nurse my baby! I would think to myself, Here I am preaching to a congregation about the importance of Jewish family life and look at me. I’m pushing myself away from the table on Friday nights. I really wanted to focus on my family, and create Jewish family life experience. I thought education might be the way to go. And at the school, the parents and the children became my congregation! I attended to them and their life cycle events, and we got to be a close family and grow together, which was very rewarding.
Personally, I felt as if I was helping to raise a generation of Jewish children, and I got to know their parents and their grandparents. That was very, very big honor and very special to me. I look back at it very happily and I felt very fortunate to be able to do it. I served as the Head of School at Albert Einstein Academy for 11 years, and then, when my husband took a new job in Northern New Jersey, I was able to find another position in North Jersey at the Solomon Schecter Day School there. I served there for 10 years until my husband retired and we moved permanently back to Wilmington.
-
You have done so much to serve this community. What does it mean to you to inspire the next generation?
It was really an unintended outcome of doing what I love. I have one life to live, and I wanted very much to live that life in service to the Jewish people. It wasn’t my intent to inspire anybody, just to do what I love and what I felt was important. It’s really an honor if somebody’s inspired by it. You know, most people just call me Ellen . . . I don’t need to be called Rabbi! If I can make Judaism joyful and accessible, I feel like I’ve done my job.
-
Of all the things you’ve done, what role is nearest and dearest to you?
Being a wife, mother, and grandmother, without a doubt.
-
Do you have a favorite woman from the Torah or one you find most inspiring?
I’ve never been asked that before. I guess it would be Miriam, Moses’ sister, who had her strengths and weaknesses. She was a devoted sister and helper to Moses and Aaron. She did her part in leading the Jewish people with song and dance. She inspired them. And I love Jewish music and music in general, and she represented music in the Torah.
-
Any parting words?
I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that I’ve had in my life. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
- To be interviewed by a former student who I watched grow up from a little shy girl to an accomplished colleague is representative of the gratitude I feel and the impact I’ve been able to have.
